Ms Angel- Teacher

Ms Angel is a kindergarten teacher at a charter school in Rhode island.

How was it having to organize all your classes on line? Have you ever had to do anything like that before?

When I first began to see fellow teachers across the country posting on Instagram about their Virtual Learning stories, I thought to myself, "Oh, that won't happen to us!" and I just tapped through the Insta stories of them sharing their ideas. But as things escalated day after day, the worry crept in and all the sudden, I was saying "Goodbye, have a great surprise vacation!" to my class of 23 Kindergarteners. Little did I know that a couple days later, I would be attempting to put together a home learning program of my own and now almost 3 weeks later, the most interactions I have had with "my kids" have been through a computer screen or a car window. I miss them like crazy!!

I have never had to adapt that quickly before. I do think as a whole, educators are extremely resourceful people. Thankfully the community surrounding me is strong and supportive so we were able to get it done together.

Kindergarten is such an important year for social learning and development. So much of our teaching as Early Childhood educators is hands-on, differentiated, and multi-sensory. So to hear that we needed to teach online was overwhelming. "How would they continue to learn social skills and school expectations? How could we possibly recreate our classroom experiences through a screen? Do I really need to videotape myself for all 23 sets of parents to watch and critic everyday? They were making so much progress academically and watching them grow and mature was such a huge joy, what will I do without that everyday? Where will I set up my classroom in my one bedroom apartment? What is most important to teach right now in such a crazy time? There are so many resources, how will choose the best ones for my students and families?" These were just some of the thoughts that ran through my mind as we were beginning this journey. It was quite a whirlwind of emails, phone calls, and texts from colleagues during our supposed "April Vacation". But I didn't mind. Because I knew we were doing it for our students. And we had to rise to the challenge.

So far, how do you think it is going? How are the kids doing do you think? Any surprises?

I just keep repeating the words "Trial and Error" to myself over and over when something does not go as planned. Some things that seem like common-sense to me as a teacher may not to all parents and so I have been able to adapt to create instructions that are more easily understood.

The parents of my students are unbelievably supportive and I could not be doing any of this without them. Their commitment to their children's education and well-being is unmatched. They are grateful, flexible, and willing to learn along with me. It is funny to think that at the beginning of this, the thing that I was most anxious about was how the parents would perceive me and my teaching. But now, I realize how much of a team we are becoming and those worries are beginning to fade away!!

From my perspective, I think that the kids are doing as well as they can be. Everytime I see them, I see smiles on their faces and that warms my heart. Academically, I see a lot of kids that are still making growth due to my ability to send differentiated activities and the parents' ability to assist their children 1:1.

I think the kids really miss each other. And I do not blame them in the least. This is tough. And I cannot imagine what is swirling around in those brains of theirs. I am just trying to be as present as possible and continue to encourage them in any way that I can.

My Kindergarten team is AMAZING. We are always on the same page and have open communication about all aspects of this new way of teaching. We are all remaining open minded and are excited to be learning new things together. As the tech-savvy one in the group, I have been able to teach my colleagues some new things and support them through this as well!

Do you feel like you have to give the parents as much encouragement as the kids?!

Sometimes!! And that is okay!! As I sit at home in my "corner of the living room classroom" with my dog and my boyfriend, I think all day about how my students are doing and how their families are managing. It is quiet here. And I miss the noise of everyday life in a Kindergarten classroom (I never thought I would actually speak those words after many days of coming home, exhausted and needing peace and quiet.)

I am ready to field any questions all day. Anytime that I have spoken to a family about a concern, I try to make it extremely clear to them that I am here for them in any way that they need. It kills me to sit behind a computer screen and get a text/email from a parent who has a child who is struggling with something. And I know exactly what I could do in the classroom, but I have to adapt on the spot and be able to talk to the parents about strategies that might work.

I just try to make sure the parents know how grateful I am for them. And that I know that they are doing their best and that their best is absolutely enough.

There was an April Fools joke going around that every one was going to have to re-do their grade after this pandemic is over. Is there any truth in that rumor/joke?

I saw this as well. I am not sure about the level of truth. I personally hope that is not the case. My students have worked so hard. They have already made so much progress and are such hard workers. And although this is absolutely heartbreaking (especially in their Kindergarten year), we only have 10 or 11 more weeks left of the school year. Yes, I was hoping to push some students a bit further during those weeks, but I believe that their skills have already come such a far way and they have a solid foundation to continue along in their schooling.

How are you finding teaching via the internet?

Not my favorite. The walk from my bed to the living room each morning is a bit sad. Somedays this week were tough. Things are beginning to settle in and I wake up and remember that I do not get to go and see everyone's smiling faces in our classroom, but that I need to sit in front of my computer, make videos, and see my students through a screen. It has definitely been an adjustment. Some days are easier than others. As I get into the groove of things, I am beginning to feel more confident in my ability to organize all of this in a more cohesive way. I just miss the kids and the life inside of a classroom.

I think that some of the older grades may be having different experiences as their kids are able to engage in lessons more successfully digitally, but Kindergarten is so different.

Any thoughts about wether you think the kids will be back at school in time for the summer semester? If not has your school considered turning the usual months allotted for summer vacation time into the summer semester instead? ( They are going to do that in Hong Kong, genius idea I think!)

I sure hope we come back!! Even for a short amount of time to just have some fun and celebrate the end of the year together.

I was not aware that Hong Kong was using the summer months for schooling instead! How interesting!

-Do you have a routine you try to stick to?

I try. This is something that even before the pandemic, I was working on. I tend to throw myself into my work (teaching and grad school) And when I am home, I "shut down" in a way. I am never very productive at home. The couch is my best friend and worst enemy. I have been pushing myself to build more "adult" routines at home, but with such a busy lifestyle before all of this with teaching, two classes, and tutoring, I was pretty worn down by the time I arrived home..... I'm also not a big fan of mornings. So setting up a morning routine has always been a challenge for me.

However, during this new "normal", I have actually felt more able to slowly ease into routines at home. And I think that it is helping me to grow in the ways that I so badly wanted to prior, but was just too busy. I can wake up and slowly ease in. I can take the dog for a walk and pick up a coffee from the "contactless" Nitro Bar without feeling rushed. I'm still trying to hold myself more accountable for small things around the house, but I think as time goes on and things settle in with teaching online, I will find more structure and ability to do these things. (my boyfriend and I are also closing on our first home in a couple of weeks so the thought of more space and home we can make our own is incredibly motivating and exciting!)

Do you get dressed in the morning or stay in your PJ’s?

It depends! I've put jeans on the past two days which I am considering a win! But I also love wearing cozy clothes. I do find myself feeling better and more ready to take on the day when I fully get ready (which has only been a few times). So I am going to make it a goal of mine starting next week to put myself together everyday. I might still hold off on the makeup though!

How is your life and your headspace changing as the weeks of isolation continue?

The first couple of weeks, I was so caught up in prepping things for my students. So as things settled this week, I found myself having a bit more difficult time. Last week, I had a very positive conversation with a friend and I felt like I was in a great place. I was thriving off of the energy of starting something new and working hard.

Then I woke up Monday morning feeling very down. I think many of us are going through this right now. The roller coaster of emotions.

I have the most vivid dreams lately. Strange ones. Not necessarily nightmares, just dreams that you almost think are real. Dreams about the world being back how it was. Then waking up to reality.

As a self proclaimed introvert, I thought that this would not be so bad. However, my boyfriend (who is also my roommate/quarantine buddy) is definitely an extrovert. And his birthday was last week. That was tough. Watching him struggle through is probably one of the more difficult things about this. We had a "virtual birthday party" and it was fun, but I know it wasn't the same for him. So I will need to continue to support him. Moving in a couple of weeks will be good for him. He will have many projects to keep him busy!

What frightens you the most about this, do you have ways of calming yourself?

I think one of the hardest parts of this is the unknown. Nobody can predict exactly how long this will be for. And that is the scariest part of it all. Will I see my students again? Or was that Friday I put on a movie and rapidly packed folders after hearing the news at 1pm the last time we will be in that classroom together?

I've heard about weddings being cancelled for the upcoming summer. My best friend from high school is getting married in September. Will this all be over by then? Will we still have her bridal shower and bachelorette party in July?

Will my sister who is a nurse in California be okay? Will my dad ever get to visit her (He had a trip planned two years ago. Then became ill. He is better now, and has planned a trip in May)?

What if it just gets worse?

All the unknowns run through my head and that is the scariest part.

I try to distract myself. By watching my favorite shows, by reading a book, by cooking dinner, by calling a friend, by playing online games through Zoom. By trying to think about what I CAN control. And by trying to look at the positives. Which is the next question!!

Have you managed to find any silver linings?

Yes, absolutely.

Walking the dog almost everyday.

Having time to begin to create routines that I have been so desperately wanting to implement, but was just too caught up in life.

Connecting with my students' parents and building even stronger relationships.

Building upon my professional and personal abilities to communicate with people more maturely and effectively.

Connecting with friends I have not seen in awhile.

Binge watching TV and not feeling guilty about it.

Saving money! And feeling so beyond grateful that I am still able to support myself financially.

Overall, just my ability to be more present.

People are saying this is a time for real change both personally and worldly. Do you agree and if so how, at this early stage, do you see and/or hope your life will change from this?

I do agree that this is definitely a time for change. For me, I can see how this will be a time for positive personal change. As mentioned previously with routine setting and self-care. Also, in regards to relationship building in many different parts of my life.

I have been listening to podcasts and watching some of my favorite Instagram influencers discuss topics related to the worldly change that this could bring and is already bringing. I do think focusing on the positives and seeing the kindness that this is bringing out in people brings hope to many, myself included. People are beginning to see what is important and overall, the support (for medical professionals, our elderly, grocery store workers, teachers, etc) that I have seen taking place is overwhelmingly heartwarming.

Are there any conspiracy theories you subscribe to?

Nope! I tend to shy away from conspiracy theories.

If you were president what would you have done differently?

It is hard to say what the exact right thing to do during this time is. Nobody has all of the answers. But I do think that I would have gone into this with much more empathy for all and an open-mind to the bigger picture of what this means for humanity, not just our economy. I am not very political and don't want to misspeak, but I just think in a time like this, we need to come together and be willing to do whatever it takes to keep everyone safe.

Using the color chart below please tell me in general what colors you are feeling.

Red- angry

Yellow- scared

Green- inspired, this is giving you time to reflect and/or create

Blue- sad/depressed

Pink- happy. You see and focus on the silver linings.

black- doomed this is hard

cream- you feel no difference

orange- over whelmed

My "rainbow": yellow, green, blue, pink, and orange.