“It’s ok,” he said, “I’m here if you need me.”
This month on the The People We Meet, I speak to Kwan while trying to meet Jennifer!
Kwan and Jennifer
I didn’t see Kwan the first time I walked past him. My attention was being held hostage by a scene up ahead of a woman sitting on the sidewalk silhouetted against the early morning light that was squeezing its way through the tall buildings of Wall Street. Beneath her, the warm steam from a vent billowed up behind her. It was theatre that blocked out everything else. Against the glare, the details of her face disappeared but I could make out that her hair was matted and multiple bags were strewn about her. As I walked towards her I could see and hear she was muttering to herself. Afraid of whatever mental health issue had her living here I reluctantly walked past her until the tug of “but that photo,” got the better of me. It was as I went back that I saw Kwan leaning against the silver newsstand staring at something across the road. It is not often that one photo stops you in your tracks let alone two in the space of a minute. He glowed bright, sandwiched between the sharp dark shadows of the buildings around him. I asked if I could take his photo, requesting he forget that I was there and go back to the thoughts that he was deeply in before I interrupted. Afterward, he told me he too was a photographer. He had seen the lady sitting there as well and had wanted to take her photo. We stood there silently, staring at the scene, like two people looking at a masterpiece in a gallery.
“ I don’t have my camera on me today, he said, “but I would have probably walked past her, I would have been too frightened to take the shot.”
From where we stood we could see her talking to herself as she rustled around on that cold morning.
“ I did walk past her!” I said.
“Sometimes it’s ok to just take the shot with your mind, knowing that you saw it is enough,” he replied.
“ No!” I said.“ I would have obsessed about not taking that shot if I didn’t!!”
We tried to swap info but he said he was currently off Instagram. I asked why and he told me that sometimes you need to take a break.
“Well, wish me luck, I’m gonna go talk to her.”
“It’s ok,” he said, “I’m here if you need me.”
Smiling I sat down near her and asked if I could take her photo, giving her what money I had in my pocket. Men and women in suits marched passed us as they hurried to work. I wondered what we must look like to them. I was on my way to a meeting myself and was dressed in a coat that had no business draping on a Manhattan sidewalk. Asking her name I managed to make out it was Jennifer but couldn’t understand the rest of what she said. We laughed and nodded at each other like foreigners trying to communicate without a common language. After the photo I stood up and turned around to Kwan. He was still watching. We smiled and gave each other the thumbs up, bonded by a shared fleeting experience and understanding. As I walked away I mouthed thank you before re-joining the current of the rat race surging me along to my meeting.
What else, what else….
After taking a hiatus from my project The Flowers We Feel, to recoup from my show last summer, I was glad to feel the urge this month to start exploring it again. Mentally bruised and battered from working on it, I had supposed our dance together was over until one morning recently I heard the whispers of a grudge from a nearby stream and the giggles of a playful wind and knew I had to put their stories somewhere again. For those unfamiliar with this project The Flowers We Feel is a photographic and written endeavor, an ode to flora in all its forms. Digging from a deep archive, I combine photos of flowers with our every day stories. Below is the latest addition.
There’s a saying isn’t there, “Be like water, “ or something to that effect, where it is implied you should adjust to a situation, a blockage and find a way. Water intuitively knows where it needs to go, gravity helping to pull it to its intended destiny, forcing the water to apply whatever tactic necessary to get there. Likewise, it is suggested that this is how we should live our lives, with a marked determination to find a way no matter what.
But this morning as she was staring at the plump stream rushing past, it struck her that the only reason it was able to get past all the obstacles was because of what was pushing it along from behind. It was the momentum and strength of all that was to come that propelled it forward. If it didn’t have that “support” or moition to help it go around, over, through, or under, wouldn’t it simply stop, run out and sink into the sand below? Isn’t that then the same for the humans who are so recklessly told to be like water, or some such privileged nonsense? If they don’t have a raging energy behind them, or a support system pushing them forward, why should it be assumed they could be able to urge themselves around a problem rather than forsaking all other options and melting into the ground beneath their feet?
It was a thought that she felt quite strongly about before moving on to the next.
That’s that for this month.
Thanks for taking the time to come all the way down here with me.
Until next time,
Stay childish.
Frances x