Not quite joy.

 
flowers and feelings

She woke up this morning and felt nothing. She lay still, eyes open, while she searched around the dark recesses, a nook where angst might be waiting, anxiety possibly hiding behind a to-do list, but nope, nothing was there. The emptiness felt like what she imagines is inside of a blown-up white balloon. Not quite joy, but not dread either. It was nice.

 
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Gin and bad language.

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Toxic vat of fear.