Mass shooter.

She was sitting on the train when two middle school kids got on and sat in the seat in front of her.  She remembers floppy hair and braces but other than a quick glimpse she went back to staring out of the window. It was a grey misty day, the landscape for the most part was train tracks tattered, trash, broken cars, all things hidden from the affluent towns they passed through. Slowing down as they went under a graffiti covered bridge she saw a bright yellow forsythia bush growing out of the gravel, a color pop amongst the cold metal pylons surrounding it. As she sat there wondering if this was an interesting photograph to take the conversation from the seat in front shook her from her thoughts.

“ Whose classroom do you think would be the best one to be in if there was a mass shooter at school?” asked the floppy haired kid to his friend.

All attention now diverted to the back of the red and white seat she frowned and listened wondering if she had heard right.

“I dunno I think Mr Williams would probably be the best classroom you can put tables up against the door. But only if guns can’t shoot through walls.”

“Yeah!”

“Can bullets go through walls?”

“Oh, I dunno…I think Ms. Wendell’s classroom would be the best one to be in.”

“Why?”

“ ‘Cause, you can jump out of the window and run and hide behind a wall outside.”

She glanced at the man next to her to see if he was catching any of this, her eyebrows raised as if to say can you believe this! But he was old, his milky eyes staring out of the window at distant memories. She doubted he knew they were even talking.

“ I think it would be pretty cool to be in the chemistry lab.” continued one of the boys.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, cause with all the chemicals you could melt the steps away and then he couldn’t get upstairs.”

After deliberating the classroom of choice they talked a bit about how each teacher would respond to this shooter. Ms. Norris would have a breakdown and start crying while Mr. W would act like he teaches and be very matter-of-fact about it. Here one of the boys did an impression of him that made the other laugh. Soon after the conversation drifted onto their favorite TV show Breaking Bad and how it was one of the all time best shows and nothing was going to change that!

She pushed away from the back of their seat not sure whether she was more shocked about how this rhetoric is part of everyday life now or the complete nonchalance with which it was being discussed. They may as well have been talking about their favorite sports teams for all the lack of fear there was. Floppy hair got off at the next station leaving his friend behind. She sat in a deep discomfort, unsure of what to do, until her thoughts were interrupted by a phone call from her husband and their two girls whom he had just picked up from school. Using her train voice so as not to bother other passengers they chatted away about the day with no talk of what she had just heard. Midway through, as the train was pulling into a station the old man got up, she assumed to get off the train. Her conversation carried on, the train went on moving. She said goodbye and as they were pulling into the next station she saw the old man in a new seat stand up to leave. Perhaps he could hear after all.

* all names were changed.